Merry Christmas, You Communist Nazis!

A few years ago I was shopping for generic Christmas cards at my local generic LargeMart. Out of several boxes and varieties, I was stunned that I couldn't find any cards bearing the words, "Merry Christmas." I found "Happy Holidays", "Season's Greetings", and even a "Wonderful Winter". But no Christmas tidings.

Has political correctness gone too far when the term "Merry Christmas" can be found offensive? Are people going to start having to ask for their coffee without sugar and cream instead of black? Instead of a "live" TV broadcast will we have to call it a temporarily metabolically abled transmission? We certainly couldn't use the word 'broad'cast because that would be offensive to women.

Heaven forbid... Oh, pardon me. I mean, expanse of sky surrounding the earth forbid we offend.

So, to all of you out there, may I bestow the fondest wishes for an environmentally friendly, economically sound, gender unspecific, sexual orientation free, secular or religious persuasion winter celebration of your choice.

Blech Friday

As is our tradition, my husband and I ventured out for Black Friday shopping yesterday. This year however, we did not rise early enough to be there when the stores opened at 5 AM because we did not want to tote baby around at that hour and, frankly there wasn't anything advertised that we felt was worthy of that effort.

So, we made it to Walmart around 9:30 AM and found most things very picked over (surprise, surprise). We bought a couple things there and headed to Target, where they were doing a 2-day sale instead of a limited Friday morning period.

It wasn't very crowded at either store, no elbowing, running and diving, or sliding necessary, which was nice and disappointing at the same time. Somehow the purchase is more thrilling when you know you beat someone else to it. Is that wrong?

I did have one moment of thrill when, after being disappointed to find The Office, season 4 no longer on the shelves, my husband found it in a discard basket.

The funny thing is, even though we're being quite frugal this year, we ended up with several things not on our list because they were so cheap. Now we have to try to match these things up to someone on our list. I'm not sure my Mom really wants to own a DVD of The Dark Knight.

This is why every year after Black Friday I always feel a little dirty, like the stores know my weaknesses and take advantage of me, luring me in with their promises of great deals on things I don't really need.

Old Lady Peabody's Soup: A Publishing Analogy

So many of you may have heard about how Harlequin Publishing has opened up a self-publishing imprint (italic used here to convey the sense of "what in the name of all that is holy and good in this world were they thinking!?"). A lot of ideas have been thrown around about it on the blogosphere, and I'm not going to repeat them here.

But I am going to add an analogy to the mix. (I like analogies; they're fun to create, and they make my wife laugh a lot, even if she's just humoring me 30% of the time.)

Harlequin's creation of a self-publishing imprint is like if Campbell's Soup decided they would let the old lady down the street from their factory, who is half-blind and who owns bottled and canned food that predates the Cold War, bring a big pot of soup that she had fixed up that afternoon with who-knows-what cooked into it down to their factory to start putting in Campbell's Soup brand cans. She would then pay Campbell's a few thousand dollars to thank them for the privilege of having her soup canned in their cans and put on the shelf with their label. The FDA wouldn't know the diff. The customer wouldn't know the diff. And. AND. Old Lady Peabody could go around town saying that her recipe of soup is used by Campbell's, so everyone should buy some of her soup. Weeks later, when a number of househoulds are hospitalized for food poisoning, having ended up with what they thought was the Campbell's Soup brand, they're not going to sue Old Lady Peabody. They're going to sue Harleq . . . er . . . Campbell's.

So, is it ever, ever worth coming out with a self-publishing imprint if you are a well-respected publisher? No. Never, ever, in a million years, quadruple infinity, no reversals. The end.


DISCLAIMER: Campbell's Soup is the best soup in the whole wide world and would never, ever let Old Lady Peabody and her cat-hair-riddled soup into their factories. This was merely a satirical analogy meant to show that a soup company with as highly respected a reputation as Campbell's would be a good analogical focus in comparison to Harlequin. (although they don't put naughty ladies on their soup cans as does Harlequin . . . so it's not the perfect analogy, right? But you do what you can.)

Thanksgiving!!

(I wrote this just before we hit the road so here is to being optimistic.)

If all goes well, I'm in Reno with Arlene and she is cooking up a storm. This new tradition, started last year, is one of my favorites of the holidays. I mean really, who do you know that would take into their home you, your spouse, three rambunctious kids, and a 75 pound dog for nearly a week, and not only be happy that you are all there, including the dog, but then cook for three days straight the most amazing food ever? I know right? She is amazing. I miss my family every holiday because they live 3000 miles away, but Thanksgiving in Reno makes for a wonderful holiday and then some. Happy happy, girl here.

Hope you are all having a fantastic Thanksgiving.

Kids Can Be Amazing

I volunteer with kids a lot. During the week I'm at the school 3 out
of 5 days. Then comes the weekend and I am at church serving with the
kids.

I do the singing time at church. Every Sunday we sing Happy Birthday
to the kids with birthdays in the upcoming week. There was this one
kid who every Sunday said "Today is my Birthday!". The first time, I
felt bad that we had forgotten his birthday and then I felt foolish
for falling for his prank.

Every week after that he would shout out that it was again his
birthday. The other kids starting following suit and Birthday time
became annoying. I decided to ignore it and just move along. As time
passed his joke, that never became old to him, made me smile. For a
year and a half we had this joke told every Sunday.

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday. I was in the chapel at church
and here comes the little trouble maker with a dozen pink roses and
says, "Today is your birthday". I was blown away. I embarrassed him
by hugging him tight!!

So, in our handling with kids, we can get angry or we can smile with
them and move on. I am not very good at smiling and moving on, but I
have been impressed by others' abilities to happily deal with wise
cracks. It is my goal to smile and move on . . . and remember the
wisecracks for my writing :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I know I am not usually one to wax poetic, but with Thanksgiving practically upon us, my mind has pondered the many things I am thankful for. Please endure with me as I take a moment to be serious...but not too serious.

Above all else, I am thankful for my family. My awesome husband and children are the best, don't try to convince me that you have the best husband, or wife, and kids, because it isn't possible. I already know I do. My husband is, quite simply, the greatest man I know, my best friend, and the love of my life.

I am thankful for great friends. Friends that "get" me. That understand I don't like to cry, that know sarcasm is just a way of life, and that are willing to laugh at my bad jokes. I couldn't pay for better friends. I know, I've looked.

My writers group is fabulous. I can't believe how I lucked out with such a fantastic group of people. Everyone has something to contribute, everyone is serious about writing, and everyone understands that there is a place called "imagination land" that you can get caught in while reality fades away. You all ROCK!

I am also thankful for indoor plumbing, air conditioning in the summer, heat in the winter, chocolate chip cookies, and fabric softener.

That's my definitely not complete list, but it's a start. What are you thankful for?

Writing

No really, I'm writing...and baking pies.

Happy Thanksgiving!