Saturday, December 11, 2010

Christmas Quotables

I started today with a healthy dose of Christmas spirit. After spending 7 hours in the car en famille running errands and shopping, I'm afraid it has been gradually beaten out of me.

In an effort to get some spirit back, I turned to thinking about some of my favorite scenes from Christmas-themed movies. Here is a selection:

A Christmas Story
[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted]

Santa Claus: How about a nice football?
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'.
Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!
Ralphie: [Ralphie is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Christmas Vacation
[Clark's meltdown after a series of VERY unfortunate events at the family Chirstmas Eve - language cleaned up]

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse.

It's a Wonderful Life

Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
George Bailey: That's right, that's right.
George Bailey: Attaboy, Clarence.

Miracle on 34th Street

Doris: Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles.

Die Hard
[It was set at a Christmas party]

[Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt]
Hans Gruber: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Ahhhh. I'm feeling better already. Feel free to add any of your favorites.


  1. I'm trying to think of something from a Charlie Brown Christmas, but it's not coming to me. So here's one from Community:

    "The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning!"

    It's not as cruel as it sounds. Kinda funny actually :-)

  2. I love all of these. One of my favorite scenes in "While You Were Sleeping" is when Lucy is sitting in her apartment dipping Oreos in her cat's milk. I don't know why, but it always makes me laugh inwardly.