Monday, December 28, 2009

BreakDOWN of 2009

On Saturday, fellow Inker Linda posted her "bests" of the decade. I feel no list is complete without a few "worsts" as well, so I am happy to write a few of my personal choices.

Worst TV Moment: The cancellation of Firefly. This western in space had great characters, awesome actors, originality, and brilliant writing. Fox cancelled the show without giving it a chance, leaving many wondering how crap like Jon & Kate Plus Eight can stay on.

Worst Celebrity Moment: It's a tie. First, the rise of Paris Hilton. Who is she? What can she do? Why do people care? If your parents having money and being a skank qualify for stardom, I might know a few upstart celebrities. Secondly, the fall of Tiger Woods. Here's a guy who seemingly had it all, a great career, a beautiful family, and enough money to hire the highest class of prostitute.

Worst Technology: Windows Vista. It didn't affect me personally, but I know many who had a problem.

Worst Change To A Successful TV Show: Adding Kara DioGuardi as a judge on American Idol. It's bad enough listening to two opinions that don't matter, but now a third? The show struggled with going overtime all season, and really, what does she add? No originality, no credentials that the other judges can't fill, and she wrote a song for the finale that sucked.

Worst Reality TV: Every stinkin' "I want to find my true love" show out there. You can't find true love on reality TV. There is lying, ulterior motives, and people who will do anything for their fifteen minutes. No room for love in that equation.

Worst Book: Breaking Dawn, Book four of the Twilight Saga. Millions of women curled their manicured toes in anticipation for the last installation of Edward. What a joke book four turned out to be! Ms. Meyer spent hundreds of pages leading the reader on a wild goose chase, feeding us red herrings, and building up to a war that never happened. Haven't read it yet? Let me spoil the ending for you. Edward and Bella live happily ever after in vampire bliss. Can I get collective, ahhhh.

Worst Movie: I know people will disagree with me on this. I might even get hate mail. Let me emphasize that my opinions in no way reflect the opinions of the other Inking Cap contributors.

My vote for worst movie goes to Napoleon Dynamite. Several people told me it was the funniest movie they had ever seen. Others told me they laughed so hard they almost peed their pants. My expectations were high. I nearly trembled with the need to laugh as I inserted the DVD into the player. I watched for the first hour, wondering when the wit would be introduced. I ached for brilliant writing or clever humor. Instead I watched an entire movie that relied on physical humor and quirky characters. Now, quirky characters can be good, but in moderation, my dear friends, moderation. Are there some funny moments? Sure. Some good lines? Of course. But watching a juvenile, dorky high school student with a dysfunctional family in a plot where nothing happens for an hour and a half...! I wanted to reclaim that 82 minutes of my life.

There are a few of my worsts. Agree? Disagree? What are your worsts?


  1. I'm so with you on Breaking Dawn. So much I could say...

  2. I have to say that surprisingly I'd have to agree with most of your worst. I'm sure that I've seen a worse movie than Napoleon Dynamite but I can't think of one at the moment. I soooo wanted those 82 minutes back after watching it as well.

    Amen to Breaking Down...I mean Dawn. so disappointing and infuriating.

    For reality TV I might have to go with the Ozzi Osbourne show. I know a lot of people liked it but really people...

    I'm adding one..the Most Poorly Handled Disaster goes to the Katrina disaster especially in the New Orlean's area. That was a tragedy of mismanagement on sooo many levels. Hopefully our nation has learned from it and will respond more compassionately and sanely to any future such events. (Not to disregard the private organizations who stepped in and did sooo much for those effected by the flooding.) Volunteerism is still alive in the US thank goodness.

  3. GOSH Deb. How dare you hate on Napoleon. He's got some of the sweetest skills ever featured in a movie. Please use the following link, read the page, and then tell me you didn't laugh out loud more than once:

    The secret to Napoleon Dynamite is, you have to watch it more than once to really appreciate it.

    Other than that, I'm totally with ya. :)

  4. Hmm...I like this list. I agree with most of them. Let me see if I'd change anything:

    Worst TV moment? I can't say Firefly right out, only because I didn't become a Browncoat until 2008. When Firefly was on, I was working 60 hours a week and spending the rest of my time at the gym. So I'd have to say...probably the complete failure that has been SMALLVILLE since season 2.

    Worst Celebrity Moment: Well, we all know how I feel about the Tiger Woods thing. So I'll go with the Kanye West Fail x2--his comments about Bush after Katrina, and what he did to Taylor Swift. May a house fall on him.

    Worst Technology: I agree with Vista.

    Worst Change to a Successful TV Show: Putting a lesbian on Heroes. The show's greatness revolved entirely around its brilliant plot, and not having a "PC" agenda. Since then...ugh.

    Worst Reality TV: This implies that there is a "best" reality TV. Such is not the case.

    Worst Book: I liked Breaking Dawn when it first came out, but the more distance I put between us, the more I realize how bad it dropped the ball. Still, it didn't come anywhere near Becca Fitzpatrick's Hush, Hush in terms of OH MY HOLY CRAP HOW DID THIS MAKE IT ONTO A BOOKSHELF PLEASE BLEACH MY MIND AAAAARGH.

    Worst Movie: The Fountain. The Fountain. The Day After Tomorrow. And The Fountain.

  5. I totally agree with all of the above, especially Napoleon Dynamite. My husband loved it, but then he also liked Oh Brother How Art Though, another movie I couldn't stand. Totally agree with Breaking Dawn being the worst. What a disappointment.

    I'm quoting you on my blog today. Take a look later.


  6. I couldn't agree more with you about Napoleon Dynamite. It was terrible. I traumatized me with its overall retardedness. I still get night terrors that involve someone holding me down and forcing me to watch it....

  7. Christine!!! so nice to see you on the blog. Can't wait to see you at conferences. I'm going to check out your blog right now.

  8. That's funny you mention Napoleon. I kept asking myself, "When is this supposed to get funny?" It had its moments, but I was never in stitches. Overall, I still see its merit: artsy indy comedy where the director puts to use everything he learned in film school.

    Yours and Linda's posts have gotten me thinking about my best and worst.

  9. I'm giggling guiltily just thinking about Napoleon. he he he he. It just makes me smile. The dance at the end is priceless.

    I agree with Graham about Breaking Dawn. I enjoyed it at first just because I loved the characters and wanted more . . . but as I've distanced my relationship with Bella and Edward (never any distance with Jacob) I have come to see the book's disappointments and icky parts . . . I mean come on!

    Best Thing about this decade? The creation of Inkers! Thank you for the focus and skills. May the next decade see us all published.