Friday, January 1, 2010


So I've decided that glitter is the new anthrax, and that anything covered with glitter that's deposited in my mailbox with an innocuous-looking envelope needs a haz-mat suit. Seriously. Glitter never goes away and seems to stick to your skin like a tick. I wouldn't be surprised if glitter reproduced, as it always seems there's more accumulating than decreasing.

Word to the wise: if you get a glitter card in the mail, quickly run it out to your big, black trash can (don't put it in an inside trash can if you value the glitter-free status of your home). And remember, it's the thought that counts, so you appreciate the friend or family member who sent the card. They didn't really know that they were sending legal anthrax.


  1. I am with you on this. Glitter is the devil. I curse my son's preschool teacher (whom I love on all other levels) every time he comes home with a craft covered in glitter.

    Perhaps we could put our hatred for glitter to use in a novel, make it a key clue in a murder mystery or something. A trail of glitter was found leading away from the body...

    And again, your labels have given me a good laugh to start the day (and the new year). Thanks Kirk.

  2. I LOVE Glitter.

    Once, when I was less than ten, I found a small peice of glitter in my cereal bowl and went ahead and ate it. Later I asked my oh-so-wise sister if you could die from eating glitter. She responded in the affirmative.

    I walked around for probably 2 years wondering if today was the day the glitter would kill me.

    So, I guess glitter can be evil. (Just try to think of it as tiny reminders of magic.)


  3. Sadly, glitter has already made it into my house and will not get off the kitchen table no matter how hard I try.

  4. It's good to hear that you feel strongly about stuff, Kirk. Most of the time you're way too chill. :)