Monday, July 20, 2009

One Liners

I once flashed a group of senior citizens.

Sounds like a great story, right? But the actual happening is much less exciting. We'll just say it has to do with me swimming and falling out of my suit during senior pool aerobics. Here's another line for you. I drove on a suspended license for over two years. The line, while true, once explained seems much less exciting.

My husband has a great one-liner. He once got caught in Mexico with his pants down. As it turns out, that really is a great story, but by speaking that one sentence, he immediately generates interest.

Everyone needs a great one-liner. That one sentence to make eyebrows raise and interest to cultivate. I want to know your one-liners, something about you that can intrigue in just one sentence. Let's see what you've got!


  1. Too much pressure....

    Okay, here I go.

    Nope, I've got nothin'.

  2. --I once had an extremely drunk cop point a loaded gun at me.

  3. I might have been able to get into the Guiness Book of World Records with a bunch of friends.

    (Though they won't mention my name, and anyway it might come in the next edition, so don't hold your breath.)

  4. Arlene, I have faith you'll come up with something :) Kirk, can't wait to hear the story. Magenta, if you make the Guiness Book, you better tell us what for.

  5. Ok, I'm piggybacking on Deb & Kirk:

    I have flashed a group of tourists and attendees of a benefit luncheon.

    I have had a cop point a loaded gun at me,although he was just stupid, not drunk.

  6. I have to qualify that the cop who pointed the gun at me was both extremely intoxicated and extremely stupid, with equal helpings of both and a twist of tequila to boot. I did actually fear for my life and expected to have a bullet in me at any moment.

    I suppose the only thing I could get in Guiness for is pizza consumption...

  7. One liners...ah there are so many.
    I bet I could come up with a few for Arlene too.
    Here's a few:

    If I knew you better, I might tell you about my naked Irishman encounter.

    One night I had three dates at the same time in the same place.

    I ripped off my dress in front of hundreds of people.
    (It was a play in high school and there were actually about 8 of us who threw our dresses on the stage that night, just in case anyone from my current life is raising his eyebrows at this one.)

  8. Donna you...what's the female word for cad??

    I bet you could come up with a couple for Arlene as well. In fact, I have one for Arlene:

    She once threatened to break out karate moves on a famous, published author.

    There :)

  9. I will neither confirm nor deny..........

  10. Here's one of mine:

    My prom date caressed my chest in front of my parents. And then turned bright pink when he realized what he did.

    (There is more to that story,but that will wait for another day)

  11. The police busted me two days before Christmas for lighting a car on fire.