Thursday, July 16, 2009
In this path to publishing there are some definite moments when my internal organs begin to quake. I'm a relatively brave girl, but there's something about sending out my precious ideas into the cold calculating hands of complete strangers that makes me sick to my stomach. On the outside of course I am a rock of confidence as I carefully research each agent and prepare the query letter. And then the moment comes to click the ominous little 'send' button and I wonder what I have done.
The first round of querries was exciting--full of possiblities. The second round of suggested agents proved promising with a request to read my chapters. Then the rejections came and the promise only made the fall harder to bear.
So this time as I sent out yet another selective round of querries to some of the top agents in the country, my stomach began to clench and I found that I was gritting my teeth. When my jaw began to ache, I called it quits. Now I'm waiting for the replies and I'm cursing the auto-replies in my inbox that two of the agents were out of town for the weekend and returned on Monday only to be silent so far this week.
Just remember that walking a lonely trail comes with moments of quiet joy and then the moments when your internal organs begin to quiver like they are preparing to burst forth in a gruesome show.
I plan to keep on moving until I get back to the next quiet moment of joy.