Monday, September 7, 2009

Four Conversation Habits of Annoying People

We all have conversational habits, those little things we say or do that have somehow become ingrained. Some of us may use the same word a lot (I've heard mine is 'absolutely'), or some of us may have adopted sarcasm as a form of expression. But there are certain common habits that can cause a deep sigh with accompanying eye roll almost immediately.

Braggart: Someone who rambles endlessly about something until the subject becomes irrelevant or everyone stops caring. Also can be found in the form of a FaceBragger, someone who posts Braggart messages on Facebook.

Bob: I still have the top score on that Mortal Combat arcade at Pizza Palace.
Bob John Bobbaganush still has the top score in Mortal Combat. Take that!

One-Upper: A person who upon hearing a story, has need to tell a similar story with a greater, or poorer, outcome.

Jane: I got this sweater on sale for five bucks.
Jill: Yeah? Well, I got this sweater on sale for three. Plus the jeans were four, the shoes six, and I got a whole package of underwear for a dollar.

Joke Poacher: Someone who hears a joke told privately, then 'poaches' the joke to get a laugh.

Jane: (to Jill) If Frank has any more to drink, he's gonna sweat fruit punch.
Jill: (loudly) Hey Frank, if you drink any more tonight, you're gonna be sweatin' fruit punch.
Crowd at party: ha ha ha

Know-it-all: A person who knows nearly everything about nearly every subject...or will talk until others believe it or want them to shut up.

Frank: No, really. Jon Heder was totally going to replace Christian Bale as Batman, but Christian agreed to be easier to work with, he even signed an "attitude clause" in his contract.
Bob: Whatever, Dude.

To all the Braggarts, One-uppers, Joke Poachers, and Know-it-all's out there (or to those who know one), go ahead and post a comment. Let's see what you've got.


  1. I can one-up that! Hahaha actually the "braggart" got me started thinking about a post I wrote a few years ago after the Super Bowl. Some people just ramble and their story has no point, but if you tack on one of these five endings, suddenly the story has meaning:

  2. I read your post Graham. You crack me up, but I could still take you Beowulf-style.

  3. Hi Donna and Arlene. Or should I say Diva and Scarlet Tart. That's it. I'm illiterate and poorly read therefore I feel too intimidated to say much more. It's fun to read though.

  4. Hey, Vixen, are you trying to tell me something about my conversation style? LOL. Truly annoying people do all 4.

    Higley, so glad you joined us. You are neither illiterate nor poorly read. And you have excellent conversation skills. Miss ya lady.

  5. PS Graham you crack me up. I'm going with the moral of the story is: Don't EVER do this. Except in all cases regarding Jane Austen films.

  6. "Don't EVER do this" found its way into the final battle scene in Sidewinder :-) I just couldn't help myself.

  7. I am sooooooo out of it. It's good to catch up with everyone, though.

  8. Be afraid, Linda. Be very afraid.

    But really, I'm not that bad...or am I?


  9. That's a rhetorical question, right? haha!

  10. Actually they were originally going to give the directoral rights to Batman to Darren Aronofsky, thank goodness they didn't 'cause he would've destroyed the franchise, Christopher Nolan is the man :-D

  11. With my head held down in shame, I sadly think I do all of those. I am really bad about joke poaching. Huh, oh well. I can do better than that :)