We all have conversational habits, those little things we say or do that have somehow become ingrained. Some of us may use the same word a lot (I've heard mine is 'absolutely'), or some of us may have adopted sarcasm as a form of expression. But there are certain common habits that can cause a deep sigh with accompanying eye roll almost immediately.
Braggart: Someone who rambles endlessly about something until the subject becomes irrelevant or everyone stops caring. Also can be found in the form of a FaceBragger, someone who posts Braggart messages on Facebook.
Bob: I still have the top score on that Mortal Combat arcade at Pizza Palace.
Bob John Bobbaganush still has the top score in Mortal Combat. Take that!
One-Upper: A person who upon hearing a story, has need to tell a similar story with a greater, or poorer, outcome.
Jane: I got this sweater on sale for five bucks.
Jill: Yeah? Well, I got this sweater on sale for three. Plus the jeans were four, the shoes six, and I got a whole package of underwear for a dollar.
Joke Poacher: Someone who hears a joke told privately, then 'poaches' the joke to get a laugh.
Jane: (to Jill) If Frank has any more to drink, he's gonna sweat fruit punch.
Jill: (loudly) Hey Frank, if you drink any more tonight, you're gonna be sweatin' fruit punch.
Crowd at party: ha ha ha
Know-it-all: A person who knows nearly everything about nearly every subject...or will talk until others believe it or want them to shut up.
Frank: No, really. Jon Heder was totally going to replace Christian Bale as Batman, but Christian agreed to be easier to work with, he even signed an "attitude clause" in his contract.
Bob: Whatever, Dude.
To all the Braggarts, One-uppers, Joke Poachers, and Know-it-all's out there (or to those who know one), go ahead and post a comment. Let's see what you've got.