Monday, September 14, 2009

In the Foot Zone

"Today I am going to connect your physical body to your ethereal body." These were the first words spoken to me by a foot zoner, who had a rather common name, much to my disappointment. For the rest of this post, for my personal satisfaction, I will refer to her as Zaltana.

I had never heard of a "foot zoning" before, but a very good friend told me I should try it out. So I did. Besides, what could be bad with an hour long foot massage?

Zaltana, while massaging my feet, gave some very interesting pearls of wisdom. Zaltana told me the feet mirror the whole body, and according to my feet, she could tell that I am a professional stuffer (her term, not mine). This means I stuff everything into my solar plexus, all my problems, emotions, and frustrations. Her suggestion? Let myself cry.

I DON'T cry.

She also told me I have trust issues, unresolved problems with men, and that I need to stop wearing a bra with an underwire. Yeah, I'm not sure why either.

What have I done with this sage advice? I, by nature, am a skeptic. But I've wondered why I might have trust issues, I've assured the four "men" (that would be my husband and three sons) in my life that I love them, and I've worn my sports bra a little more often than I used underwire there.

But I haven't cried.

If your feet could talk, what would they tell you? Maybe you should visit a foot zoner and find out.


  1. Ooooh, I've always wanted to get that done . . . interesting what she said.

    Feet: I had a best friend when I was young (his name was Drew) who hated feet. If you said the word feet he would bite you. I do love a good eccentric.

  2. Ah the foot zone. Always such an interesting place to be. Admit it, she is an excellent character profile. I'm so jealous you actually met someone so far out there.

  3. So basically this lady rubbed your feet and told you that, because you accomplish stuff, your heart beats, and therefore to solve the problem you ought to become a sissy?

    You didn't, like, PAY for this, did you?

  4. Huh. Why won't you cry, Deb? Seems like you need to open those flood gates. ;)

  5. DJ, I like a good eccentric too. And Donna is right, eccentrics make the best characters.

    Graham, the massage made the money I paid worthwhile. But I'll make you a deal. I'll charge you half and give you some useless advice and try to make your sissy urges come through.

    Tart, I don't cry because it's like drinking too much...all it accomplishes is a headache :)

  6. Like Graham I am skeptical about her analysis, but hey, if you enjoyed it and got a potential character out of it, then it was worth the money.

    About the crying thing, I used to be a stuffer and, trust me, learning to cry is a good thing. I would encourage you to work on it or you may find yourself suddenly bawling in the grocery aisle someday because they are out of Captain Crunch.

  7. "Tart, I don't cry because it's like drinking too much...all it accomplishes is a headache :)"

    I like that. It's like the crying during a commercial is just a nice glass of wine, but the all out snot flying sob is a gross batchelor party binge.

    I'll do the silent tears rolling down my cheek thing, but MAN do I HATE to cry for emotional reasons.

  8. That "potential character" has already been done, they called her Professor Trelawney in Harry Potter :-D